He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
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