I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Randomize