Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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