Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
