I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
