Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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