roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
why do cheetos always look like penises
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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