Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
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After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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