My room smells like vodka and shame
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
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