I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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