We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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