we have officially mastered the walk of shame
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
