The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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