Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
