I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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