what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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