i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
