I just pynch a tree in the face
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Can I color on your dick again?
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
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