If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
