Just mADE A PArabola og urine
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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