I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
