Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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