So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
