Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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