he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Randomize
