It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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