Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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