you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
