he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
