Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
