dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
