IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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