Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
