Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
