I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
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Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
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I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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