Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Sponge bath it is.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
