I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
