thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
