How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
