Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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