Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
