"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
