Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
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