i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
