I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
someone owes me an orgasm
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
