I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
