That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
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I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
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We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
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