I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
