So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
