I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
