So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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