According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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