When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
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And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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