Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Randomize
