i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
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