i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
