his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
