question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
