Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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