i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
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