There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
