I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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